Variable disabilities and the constant flow of decisions needed.

One thing many people don't realise about variable disabilities is the need for constant decisions - weighing up symptom levels against task requirements, and task importance, and then taking into account all the possible ways of doing the task, and finally deciding: whether to do it, when to do it, and how to do it. Again. And again. And again.

It's exhausting. And it's why sometimes I get to the point of not being able to make standard decisions (like choosing an item in a shop, or what to have for dinner). It's like my brain is all decision-ed out by the constant stream of disability related decisions it has to deal with every day.

Anyway: Yesterday I got a decision wrong. And had an extra load of extra cleaning to do as a result.

I considered my pain levels, fatigue, joint stability, and whether I felt close to fainting - and all were within limits that meant I should be able to unpack the grocery delivery from delivery crate to the side next to it without my wheelchair. It turned out, I forgot to check in with my coordination levels - and they were appalling. No way should I have tried a task needing lots of gripping and control, while standing! The result: a large pot of yoghurt liberally spattering the floor and cupboards.

Note: I don't feel the least bit guilty or any 'I should have chosen differently!' self blame. Because I made the decision as well as I could at the time. And it's ok to not always get it right. Things like this are just part of my conditions - and it's a constant learning curve trying to manage them.. I'm just sharing this as I thought it was a really good example of the constant need for strategic planning and decision making, just to get through a basic day as a person with variable symptoms.